Journal Writing

I have always been such an avid journal writer most of my life. When I was young though they were called diaries. You would write a short blurp each day of what you did etc. I still have those and I look back at those diaries now and it's during the time of when my father passed away. I wish I would have written more of my feelings and what had happened. I regret that but I know that at the time that's what was done. You had about a 4"x 1" space for each day. How can you write what you're experiencing and feeling in that much space?
When my mom was alive her nieces gave her a journal for her birthday. It was during the time she was starting her trials with breast cancer. During that time she was able to write in about 3 or 4 journals and I've been blessed to end up with those. It's hard for me to bring them out and read them because it deals mostly with her day to day dealings with cancer, her chemotherapy, radiation, her nausea, weakness etc. But she also expresses time and time again in them how much she wants to live. She didn't understand why her Heavenly Father would want to take her at such a young, vibrant age. She begged and begged and pleaded in her prayers to be able to live and see her children and grandchildren grow up. So of course I shed many tears when I read them. I"m so thankful that she was able to record her feelings so that her posterity can try to understand her life at that time.
My first "official" journal was given to me by Elaine and Morris for my Christmas present the first year I was married. It's the brown one. It looks pretty beat up because I used it a lot. In that journal it has all the feelings of being newly married, the birth of my children etc. I consider my journals as something very personal but know that after I pass away maybe someone might pull them out and read them like I did my own moms. My journals are also one of the very first things I would grab if there were ever to be a fire in my home.
The journal I am currently writing in now is not pictured in the photo. Shana gave it to me for Mothers Day 2006. Inside the front cover she wrote a poem for me. I'd like to share that:
"My Mom"
My mom who is so strong
Especially with her mother gone
I could never bare
To have her gone, is my fear
Growing up she was so fun
All my friends would say she's #1
As I grew old I looked to her
Always listened to advice she shared
Now a Grandma that my kids adore
wanting her to play with them more and more
Their favorites are the horsey rides
And reading til the night abides
They love to listen to the songs
she sings while rocking them all night long.

She then went on to say, Mom I love you, You are the best, way above the rest. May we create many more memories of the love you show us every day.
Love, Shana Lyn

The last six months of my life have been a very hard time. There have been many times I've picked up my journal to write and I've put it right back where it came from. I haven't been in the mood or right frame of mind to sit and write my feelings or of events that have taken place. The last time I wrote was the day of my 5th grandsons birth in February. I really have a lot to catch up on. I finally brought it out today and started writing. My heart is filled with so much emotion right now as I reflect upon the last six months but I'm anxious to catch up on things and to fill my journal with writings that are from my heart.
We've been asked to keep journals and so I would suggest to any of you who are not currently doing it to do so. You might think you have nothing of importance to say but if the pioneers would have thought that we wouldn't have any of their histories. So I encourage you to start today. I did again!! It's a good feeling. And the very first thing I put it in is my feelings of expecting our 6th grandchild!! What a joy it is to know that Jared and Kristi will be bringing their 3rd little sweetheart into our family.
So Happy Journal Writing to all of you!!!