Writing Entries For Gena's Freedom Health Blog

My niece Gena Berteleson has asked me to do some articles on her Freedom Home Health blog site relating to being the spouse of a diabetic. I hesitated at first because first of all I'm not a writer of any kind and also I have a terrible memory about remembering things but I'm going to try. When I write an article I'll try to remember to post them to my own blog. On her blog she has a picture of Roger and I but I'm at work writing this blog so I don't have access to one. Keep in mind these thoughts are only mine and not any one elses.

Diary Of A Diabetics Wife...By Chris Pyne
This is the first entry into our new bi-weekly feature by Chris Pyne. Please visit her support group at Diabetes Support Group for Spouses for ongoing dialogue and support.
Roger and I were married 34 years ago. I met my sweetheart when I was 15 years old and I was married to him at the age of 18. I remember when I met him, someone had told me he was a diabetic and so I asked him if he was and he said "no, that's my brother." Basically, he was in denial. He was diagnosed at the age of 9 with the disease. All I knew about diabetes at that point was that he had one shot a day.
Shortly after we were married I had a very rude awakening to the life of being a spouse of a diabetic. He had come home from work one day and told me how hungry he was. Well, not knowing the significance of his disease, I told him that I would get him something to eat in a little bit. In the meantime he was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat but was having an insulin reaction where his blood sugar bottomed out. Next thing I knew he was on the floor having a seizure. Thus, began my life now with my diabetic husband.
After that experience my life changed. The sleepless nights of awakening every time Roger would wake up to check his blood sugars, worrying every time we went someplace when we hadn't come prepared for an emergency, the continual doctor appointments such as his family doctor, kidney doctor, diabetic doctor, cardiologist etc., worrying that my children would become diabetic, when he would become ill with the flu. It never ended. Diabetes ran our lives.
During our 34 years of marriage I've had to call the paramedics multiple times. He's been hospitalized many times for diabetes related problems. I remember one incident where he had accidentally given himself the wrong insulin. He was in a panic and I went into panic mode with him. I had to help him counteract his insulin mistake by making him eat and eat lots of carbohydrates. He would get so sick of all the food that he would almost vomit it up. Thus, another trip to the emergency room.
Many times, I've been awakened out of a dead sleep with a feeling that something was wrong. Roger wouldn't be beside me in bed so I would go find him and he'd be having an insulin reaction where if I hadn't of gotten up he would have had a seizure. My adrenaline would go from this dead sleep to a rush of panic within seconds. I would get physically sick after the incident was all over. Each time this happened I was so grateful that I had been inspired to wake up and be able to help him.
About 5 years ago Roger got on an insulin pump which has helped him a lot. I've been so proud of him for the way he has done his best to be healthy. His doctors have called him their model patient because he cares so much about trying to keep his diabetes in control. In spite of taking care of his self, the disease takes control and begins to wreak havoc on the body. I've been his support through many, many surgeries. Being the worst was watching him go through open heart surgery at the age of 53. Then 6 months later, back surgery.
Many times I've wished for someone who I could talk to that could relate to what it's like being the spouse. Someone to share experiences with . I wouldn't trade any of it though because I love my sweetheart and I'm so grateful I can be here to help him. He is my rock and my hero.

Posted by Gena Bertelsen at 6:00 AM Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to Facebook2 comments:

ScubadiverApril 27, 2012 8:19 AM

Chris you are amazing.. Wow!



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DebbieApril 27, 2012 11:29 PM

Chris,

I had no idea you 2 have been through so much with this awful diseas;Roger has always looked like the picture of health! I knew he was a diabetic, but never realized what life is like for them and their spouses. Bless your hearts, as our mom's would say!

I'm constantly reminding Dix that he needs to eat better and exercise more, as we are both borderline, but maybe I need to read him this blog and let him hear for himself. Thanks for your willingness to share. Love you Cuz! Debbie



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Stressful Week

Geez, here it is another week before Mothers Day. My emotions are on a roller coaster. It seems like this week will never get better. Year after year it's the same thing. I'm glad my family understands.
Maybe it also has to do with the fact that we're all walking in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure the day before mothers day. We walk in moms honor and her spirit is truly with us the whole time. I feel her everywhere that day. I know she would be so proud.
This past week I've been feeling like such a failure at being a mom. I find myself thinking of so many things I wish I would have done or not done. Feelings that just gnaw at me day in and day out. Sometimes I"m reminded by my children of the way I am and to them it's not good. So it just sets me back another step in the way I feel about myself. It's quite a shame when you can't ask your kids if they had a good week without a response of "why do you ask me that all the time?" Quite a shame..oh well. I've been told before to mind my own business. Guess I never learn. I'm reminded about my bad memory too. I'm on medication that has a side effect of memory loss and I have to remind my kids to have patience with me.
I'm dealing with Rogers health issues, changes in my work schedule again, the IRS saying we owe them more money. Seems like it never ends. I think I just bottle it all up and try so hard not to let it all bother me but inside it is. I worry so much about Roger. I pray so hard for him each day that he'll be able to handle the cards he's been dealt in this life. I worry that I'll die before him and he won't have anyone to take care of him.Then I worry about him dying before me and me being alone. He does so much for me and I don't know what I would do without him. He's quite the handyman around our house, he's the gardener, laundry man, car fixer etc.
I pray that Heavenly Father will always be aware of our needs and bless me with the things that I really do stand in need of. I've turned to him so much lately that I'm sure he's sick of hearing from me. But I'll just trudge on with these feelings and hope that next week is a better week.

Roger, My Hero

I hate Diabetes with a passion. The disease is on a rampage and more and more people young and old are being diagnosed. Roger has had it since he was 9 years of age. I look at my cute grandchildren and can't imagine them having to deal with what goes along with diabetes.

Each day I see him try so hard to deal with it. Lately he has had such a hard time keeping his blood sugars in control. One day he's in the 500's then the next it's 33. I worry so much when I'm at work or away. If I happen to call him and he doesn't answer his phone then I'm thinking the worst such as he's lost consciousness. There have been times when I've called a neighbor to go and check on him but he's been ok. I go to bed at night and always ask him what his blood sugar is and if he got a snack. Some of his worst lows have been in the middle of the night. So I go from this deep sleep to my adrenaline running high to try and help him get something in him to eat.

I am grateful that he tries so hard to do his best. He has so much to live for and he knows it. But I know how down he gets about all the health issues he deals with. I'm so grateful that we can still do things together and pray that he will always be able to do so.

Our kids have no clue what he has to deal with each day. I wish they would appreciate him just for that fact. He's such a hard worker and a wonderful husband and father and grandfather. He's my hero.

Happy 3rd Birthday Easton

This little tiger turned 3 on March 30th. What a funny, funny kid he is. He's quite the character and has a mind of his own. Sometimes he can be a little meanie lol. But he has to hold his own since he has 2 sisters.
I think he loved his presents he was opening lol. We sure love this young man and glad he had a nice birthday. He's growing so fast and learning so much. He is really into hunting like his daddy is. They lay together on their bed in their cammo shirts and play guns and watch a hunting show together. He even uses his fake gun to shoot the deer on the t.v.

What a doll! Happy 3rd birthday Super Tucker Pyne!!

A Visit to City Creek Mall

City Creek Mall opened the middle of March so Roger and I thought we'd make a day out of it and go to lunch and then hit the mall shops. What a huge place! You could get lost so easy. I love that the Salt Lake Temple is in the background. We didn't buy much but we sure enjoyed the day just being together.

Moms Funeral Program

I came across moms funeral program and wanted to put it on my blog. It brings back so many memories of this day. She had wonderful speakers and singers and the songs she had chosen were so fitting for the type of person she was. I miss her so very much and wish my children could have known her and had the opportunity to form memories of her.

Makinley's Baptism Day!

This little princess was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on March 24,2012. She is quite the beauty in her white dress. Grandpa and Grandma are so proud of her for choosing the right. I pray she'll always have the Holy Ghost with her to help her make decisions and choices in her life. Makinley had asked me to give a talk on the Holy Ghost and I was honored. She had lots of support from her cousins on the Cook and Pyne side and we all enjoyed a nice lunch afterwards at her parents home.
Makinley and her daddy. I'm so proud to have a son who honors his Priesthood and is able to perform these important events for his children.
Gardners and Grandpa waiting to see Makinley baptized.
We gave her a few things for her baptism. One was this beautiful frame for her baptism picture. Something she can always have and cherish. We also gave her a CTR necklace and some wood blocks for her bedroom that are CTR.
What a beautiful family.
Little Easton is dreaming about the day he's going to be baptized in 5 years. I love his pant leg tucked into his boot. What a sweety.
Grandma and Grandpa with their sweetheart.