Stressful Week

Geez, here it is another week before Mothers Day. My emotions are on a roller coaster. It seems like this week will never get better. Year after year it's the same thing. I'm glad my family understands.
Maybe it also has to do with the fact that we're all walking in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure the day before mothers day. We walk in moms honor and her spirit is truly with us the whole time. I feel her everywhere that day. I know she would be so proud.
This past week I've been feeling like such a failure at being a mom. I find myself thinking of so many things I wish I would have done or not done. Feelings that just gnaw at me day in and day out. Sometimes I"m reminded by my children of the way I am and to them it's not good. So it just sets me back another step in the way I feel about myself. It's quite a shame when you can't ask your kids if they had a good week without a response of "why do you ask me that all the time?" Quite a shame..oh well. I've been told before to mind my own business. Guess I never learn. I'm reminded about my bad memory too. I'm on medication that has a side effect of memory loss and I have to remind my kids to have patience with me.
I'm dealing with Rogers health issues, changes in my work schedule again, the IRS saying we owe them more money. Seems like it never ends. I think I just bottle it all up and try so hard not to let it all bother me but inside it is. I worry so much about Roger. I pray so hard for him each day that he'll be able to handle the cards he's been dealt in this life. I worry that I'll die before him and he won't have anyone to take care of him.Then I worry about him dying before me and me being alone. He does so much for me and I don't know what I would do without him. He's quite the handyman around our house, he's the gardener, laundry man, car fixer etc.
I pray that Heavenly Father will always be aware of our needs and bless me with the things that I really do stand in need of. I've turned to him so much lately that I'm sure he's sick of hearing from me. But I'll just trudge on with these feelings and hope that next week is a better week.