The Big 5-0

Ok... so it's hard to admit I'm 50 now. I've had a really hard time accepting that fact. And it didn't help by having to turn 50 on a rainy, gloomy day either. But here I am. The day started out by Shana and her family and Troy and his family giving me a European Facial at a day spa. So Shana and I both went that morning and spent an hour having our faces massaged with wonderful cleaners, scrubs and moisturizers and a mask. Oh that felt so good. She also rubbed my feet with lotions while the masked dried. I will for sure be going back to that place!! Then all the kids and grandkids came over for a fun barbeque. We had to hurry though because it was starting to rain. While I was sitting there eating Shana brought out a bunch of papers and handed them to me. She said that she had had people email her thoughts, memories etc. about me. Well, I immediatley started to cry. I couldn't even start to read them for a few minutes. But I got through them with lots of tears and lots of laughter. That was the best gift of all!! She's going to make them into a book for me. I opened gifts and we were going to go to the Strawberry Days Rodeo but it rained and poured down like no other. Daxton was going to do the mutton busting but we ended up not going. We were heart broken but hope to have him in another rodeo soon. So we ended up going downstairs and the grandkids put on a dancing show. Hip hop, country swing etc. We were laughing so hard. That was a highlight of the day too. They always make me laugh!! I just want to say a big thank you to my hubby, and all my children and grandkids for making this transition day such a fun one for me. I was really not looking forward to it but it ended up being a such a fun day. I love you all so much.

I finally have all 7 of my grandkids with me. I'm so proud of them and I love being their grandma. We almost don't fit on the sofa anymore. They're growing so big and so adorable and I love them more than they will ever know.

Here's the "old fart" Wrinkles and all. Everyone keeps telling me it's not as bad as it sounds. So we'll see..

I hope what I wished for comes true!!!

Wow!! Hard to believe that really says 50!! But it does.

I had mentioned several times to Roger that I would love to have an ice-cream maker so that's what he got me. I can't wait to taste it!! I made some today for fathers day.

Shana was giving me pages and pages of comments that people had emailed her about me. Of course, being a ball baby I started crying as soon as she gave them to me. I hadn't even started reading them yet. We were all together for a barbeque before the rain started. We had hamburgers, bratwurst, steaks, hotdogs, yummy salads, and chips.

Why?

My heart is so heavy tonight. Have you ever been angry at God? Have you ever wanted to scream out your frustrations so loud that he could hear you? I know in the scriptures it tells us that he won't give you any trial or trials that you can't handle. But... there has to be a limit!!
As I watch each day, my beautiful daughter and her wonderful husband, struggle to get enough sleep, struggle to function each day, I see him nauseated from his chemo, sleeping the day away because of the affects of it, vomiting, and Shana by his side. I can't stop asking myself when is this going to stop? They shouldn't have to be dealing with such heavy burdens and decisions at their age. They should be having the time of their lives raising their children, happy, traveling, and just trying to live a normal, common day life. But instead they are dealing with cancer. I HATE it!!! As a parent I can't stand to see them day in and day out trying to be happy, putting on smiles when I know they are hurting inside but just can't say it. I have never seen two people so positive, so uplifting, so upbeat, never complaining about their life. For that, God needs to be on their side and get them through this nightmare.
Tonight after Priesthood blessings were given to them, Roger and I sat outside on our swing. No words were spoken as we sat there and cried. Our hearts ache as we see Shana and Jakes love for one another. What an example they are to me.
I want them to know how much I love them. How I wish I could take this all away. If we could wake up tomorrow and have it all be over that would be my dream. I pray to God that in the next couple of weeks when Jake has his PET scan that the chemotherapy will be destroying all the cancer in his body once and for all!! I pray he won't have to go through a bone marrow transplant. If there is a God I pray this prayer will be answered. I know there are hundreds of people of all different faiths praying for this same prayer as mine. So..that said..please continue to pray in his behalf. For him and for Shana as they are both affected by this disease.

Recovery

On May 26th I had the wonderful opportunity to have a hysterectomy so I've been out of commission for a few days. Today is the first day that I have felt half decent. I believe it's a man who has made the decision that a woman should be able to go home after 1.5 days in the hospital after having her guts removed. And bladder repaired. I'd like to ask him if he thinks he could handle that after having a private part of his cut off and then head back to work a few days later.
I'd like to thank those who have loved and supported me through this. Jared, my son who works in the OR where I had this done is always so cute and attentive. He always makes sure dad and I have the best anesthesiologists to do the job. While I was there he came in my room before surgery and visited. I was scheduled to go to surgery at 11 so they had me come in at 9:30am. At 11 they took me to the holding room you go to before surgery and the anesthesiologist and doctor come in to talk to you before. Well, after 45 min. they came to tell me the doctor had been held up in another surgery so it would be a while. Well, then again after 45 min. they came to tell me it would be quite a while because there were bad complications in the surgery before mine. They wheeled me out back to my room in Same Day. Kristi, and her kids and Jared came back to visit me and so did Rog. They kept me company until I finally went to surgery at 3pm. Everything went well and I was in my room around 6:30pm. I was quite nauseated and vomited a few times but Rog was at my side to help me through it all. He's been a great help and I've appreciated him so much. I had friends come and see me and bring me things. My sister came with her husband and brought me a malt and gifts. Shana and her family brought me a malt too. They tasted so good. Teresa brought me a big rhubarb plant because she knew I wanted another one. Cindy brought me some beautiful white flowers. I've had phone calls etc. People from my ward have brought us dinner and that's been nice even though I feel guilty.
I was in the hospital til Thurs. and I came home that afternnoon after having everything taken off me such as catheter and iv's. The last two days I felt like someone had run me over with a big truck but today I'm feeling somewhat better. Just weak and sore. I go outside and sit in our rocking chair just to get outside and get some fresh air and see the beautiful yard Roger has once again prepared for us.
I"ve been blessed not to have had any complications. I'll be so glad when I can run and jump and walk for exercise. We take our good health for granted that's for sure.
Thanks again to my family and friends for their love and support. I will pay you back some day.
Love,
Me

In Memory Of My Mom

For the past several years I have wanted to donate to and walk/run in the 5 K Susan G. Koman "Race for the Cure" race. This year Jake inspired me to do it. I'm so glad that I did. Two of my sisters, Kayleen and Cyndee decided they wanted to do it with me in memory of our mother. Mom passed away at the age of 57 in 1981 of breast cancer. She fought a good fight but back then there weren't the kind of treatments that they have today. I have such great respect for all women who have had to endure breast cancer. What fighters they are. I would walk for miles and miles and miles to find a cure if I could. As we were there early this morning my thoughts were upon my mom and all the other moms who have lost their fight. There were pictures of women on some of the backs of runners/walkers in memory of someone. Next year we're going to do that. But I could feel my moms spirit and I know she would be proud of us to represent her in this cause. Many times I had a lump in my throat and held back my tears as I was walking and thinking of her. I know she was with us. I would encourage any of you who have the opportunity to walk for this cause to do so. There was a sea of women. They had 18,000 people register but it looked to me that there had to be more than that. But to know I was a part of that for just a little while made my heart swell.

There were booths before the race giving away lots of different things. We donned our breast cancer capes, warrior scarfs and off we went. For as far as you could see down the street there were thousands of people lined up and ready to go.

Here is the starting point. A rainbow of pink balloons.

I know mom would be proud of us!! This is for you mom!! We miss you and love you!!

Cyndee, Kayleen and I are ready to "Race for a Cure" So Happy Mothers Day to you mom!! What an inspiration you were to me and continue to be. I miss you and love you so much. We will continue to walk now in your behalf and will pray for a cure of breast cancer.

A Taste Of Hawaii

Roger and I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii with our best friends Deb and Steve and Lora and Scott. We had planned this trip since January and the day had finally come. We were hesitant on going when it came right down to it because there were so many things going on at home. But we did anyway. The time we spent there was beautiful. We got to see and enjoy so many wonderful things. It had been 30 years since Roger and I had been there so it was fun to go back. We flew into Honolulu and from there we went on to enjoy 8 days of paradise. I wish I could post all our pictures but there were so many we had to buy a new memory card for our camera. We enjoyed a luau, swap meet, snorkeling, the guys golfed with Sua, we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center, Dole Pineapple Plantation, Hawaiian Temple that was under rennovation, Pearl Harbor, and my best friend Lora got married while we were there. What a fun time we had.

It was such a fun surprise when we got off the plane and were walking to get our luggage. My niece Lesli and her husband Sua who live right across the street from the airport, came and surprised us all with lei's. I couldn't believe it. I had no idea she was going to be there. That made my day!!! They smelled so good and were so beautiful.

Almost every morning we would go for a walk down by the beach. It was so nice, calm, quiet and peaceful. This was just steps from our condo.

The flowers were spectaular. Everywhere you looked there were different kinds. The colors were gorgeous.

This is what I loved spending my time doing when we were at the beach. I love to snorkel. We got to snorkel right out on one of the lagoons at our resort and we also went to Hanauma Bay which was beautiful. I've always said if I died and came back as something else it would be a fish. I love the water!

Rog, Lora and Scott, Steve and Deb are catching some rays. We spent almost every day on the beach. It was so beautiful.

The bathing beauties. We loved hanging out at the beach or at our hotel pool. We had to come home with a nice tan to prove we'd been to Hawaii!!

Twice we went to the swap meet. Wow what killer deals you could get on everything and anything. I could go there on a weekly basis. I even had to buy a suitcase there to carry all our stuff back on the plane. Lora, Deb and I were buying, buying and buying. Had to take back souveniers to our family.

We're all decked out in our hawaiian outfits. All ready to go to the Paradise Cove Luau. While we were there we got to see hawaiian dancing, we made flower head pieces, danced, and watched a young man climb a tree for a coconut. The food was excellent. We watched as they took the pig from the pit. The entertainment was awesome. Roger, Lora and I got called up on stage to help out too. What a fun night.

While we were at the Dole Pineapple place we met up with our good friends Mike and Teresa. They were there visiting their daughter who lives in Hawaii. We've got such good friends. Steve and Deb, Scott and Lora, Mike and Teresa. We couldn't have had a better time!! We went to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. Everyone said we had to get some pineapple ice cream. Well, it was so good we went three times. Except the 2nd time it was just the guys and they got there 4 minutes after they had closed up for the day. They were desperate so they were checking all the doors around the building. When that didn't work they walked with their heads down to the parking lot and saw some people eating a pineapple ice cream cone. They were desperate enough to ask them if they could buy it from them!!! hahaha..just kidding of course. But the ice cream was that good!!

The flowers were spectacular at the Polynesian Cultural Center. Everywhere you looked there were waterfalls and flowers. The rain brought out the colors even more.

We visited the Polynesian Cultural Center one day. It was raining the whole time but it was still so beautiful. They had a canoe parade that would have each canoe with dancers from their island. Such as Samoa, Figi etc.

This is Ko Olina Beach Resort. We had 3 lagoons right by us. What an awesome place to stay. We were so blessed to have our good friends Steve and Deb invite us to stay with them. Everything at Ko Olina was immaculate.

Lora and Scott got married while we were there. What a beautiful, romantic experience. Kayleen, my sister bought the lei's for them as their wedding present. Lesli, my niece made the arangements for the preacher, the beach, lei's, music etc. What a fun day. I"m witnessing their marriage license for them. Congrats to Lora and Scott! Love you guys!

Lesli loves her Unke Roger. It was so nice to see her. Lesli lives right by where we were staying so she spent several days with us. She came to the beach, had us over for dinner, we went out to a club and danced and she made my girlfriends wedding so beautiful. Planned the whole thing. What a wedding planner she is!!

We all put our best foot forward..Mine of course are the bright pink toes. I had them done before I left. I had palm trees made on the big toes.

Gotta have a self portrait!! This is on the beach right where we stayed. Our condo is in the background. The sun is so different in Hawaii. I tan quite easily but we still had to use some sort of sunscreen to protect us. Thank goodness Roger never got sunburned again like he did 30 years ago. Rog and Steve working on their tans. It was so nice and refreshing to lay in the water to enjoy the sun.

We went to Pearl Harbor and got to enjoy the beautiful things there. It was very touching to see where this all happened on Dec. 7th 1941. Many people lost their lives and are entombed here. What a nice experience to visit here again. Very heart warming. In respect to the people who were killed no cell phones are allowed to be on. You have to whisper while on the Arizona Memorial.

It's Been Forever

It's been forever since I updated my blog so I've just posted some random pictures of events that have taken place in our home so far this year. The past couple of months have been a roller coaster of emotions. With Daxton getting injured, Jake being diagnosed again with cancer but also having a new grandson born and two more on the way. I know Heavenly Father is watching over us and blessing us. I also know that Jake continues to need those blessings in his behalf so please continue to pray for him. He has been a blessing to our family and Shana and the boys. And now Presley.

As many of you know, Daxton was kicked by a horse in February. He was life flighted to Primary Childrens hospital with a grade 4 spleen laceration. What a trying time for his parents and for us as his grandparents. It's so hard to see your sweethearts hurting and in pain. But he was such a trooper. So brave. I know through everyones faith and prayers he was blessed and is doing so well now. I love you Dax!! Easter Sunday 2009. We are missing Troy and Easton in the picture. Troy was in Memphis setting up his new office for the summer work there. Easton was asleep in the house. The weather was so beautiful for an egg hunt. The kids had a blast and made a haul of candy and prizes. This is what my life is all about. There isn't anything better in this world than surrounding myself with my sweet adorable grandchildren. I'm so thankful that they love coming to our home and spending time with us. We are truley blessed. I love you Brayden, Daxton, Makinley, Gentry, Colby and Easton!! Me with our newest little grandchild Easton. We got to tend him and all of the other grandkids while their parents all went out on a date. They appreciated the time alone without all the kids so I"m glad we offered to watch them.

Cousins...what more can I say? Brayden is such a good cousin to the smaller ones. He especially loves the little ones. He's going to make a really good big brother to Presley. It was such a beautiful day yesterday. We had a barbeque outside for Troys going away party and Kristi and Gentrys birthdays. Makinley and Brayden needed their shades..it was so bright outside.

We celebrated Kristi's and Gentry's birthdays yesterday. Since we'll be in Hawaii and Troy and Kori are leaving we needed to wish them a Happy Birthday. Gentry is an adorable 3 year old. Stubborn but cute!! And Kristi is the daughterinlaw that you always dream about. What a great wife and mom too. Happy Birthday to my sweethearts

Troy, Kori and Colby are leaving in two days for Memphis. Troys work will be there this summer as he will once again be managing his alarm company office. We hate that they leave us every summer and we will miss them tons but he can make lots of money so that he can take his mama out to lunch again!! We love you guys!! Well..what can I say? This is Utah weather. One day it's in the 60's the next we wake up to 13" of snow on April 15th. Even though we are so tired of it and ready for spring it was so gorgeous to see the trees etc. We really are blessed to live where we do. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

In the picture at the top it is Easter Sunday 2009. We were missing Troy and Easton in the picture. Troy was in Memphis getting his office set up for work. Easton was asleep in the house. It was a beautiful day for an Easter egg hunt. The kids made a haul with candy and prizes.

Each year I have an Easter egg hunt for the kids. They love the candy and prizes. I don't think the parents like all the candy but that's what it's all about. I'm so blessed to have these adorable sweethearts in my life. Each one is so unique and I love them more than life!!
Our wonderful soninlaw Jake is once again enduring the effects of cancer. It breaks our heart to see this happen. He is such a fighter and so with his faith and all of our prayers we know he will kick this in the butt forever! He is so excited for his little Presley to arrive. He was on the 7th floor of the hospital having his chemo when Kristi was downstairs having her baby so he walked down to see Easton. We love you Jake!!
Jared and Kristi welcomed their 3rd child into their family. An adorable baby boy. They are naming him Easton Tucker. Tucker is Jareds grandmas maiden name. I know it's a fun new experience for them to have a little boy now. What a cute family!! My three beautiful daughters are all pregnant at the same time. It's been so fun to see them each advance in their pregnancies. Kristi with Easton, Shana with Presley and Kori with Adeline. It's so exciting to think of 3 new grandbabies within 6 months of each other. Wow we're so blessed. Makinley celebrated her 5th birthday in March. She is such a joy to our family. Always says the cutest little things. I love her hugs and kisses and that she loves spending time at our home with us. I love you Makinley!!

God's Cake....an explanation for trials.

God's cake...
This is about the best thing I've ever read as an explanation. We all wonder many times over WHY? Sometimes we wonder, 'What did I do to deserve this?' or 'Why did
God have to do this to me?' Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, Her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she
would like a snack, and the daughter says, 'Absolutely Mom,
I love your cake.' 'Here, have some cooking oil,' her Mother offers. 'Yuck' says her daughter. 'How about a couple raw eggs?' 'Gross, Mom!' 'Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?' 'Mom, those are all yucky!' To which the mother replies: 'Yes , all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! ' God works the same way.. Many times we wonder why He
would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But
God knows that when He puts these things all in His order,
they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring
and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk,
He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He
chose your heart.

I know I can relate. Many times I've asked myself "why" but then I always look at others and find out their trials are much harder than my own. I would gladly keep mine. I'm so thankful for my trials and for the strength they give me to carry on. When you've gone through something very hard it's always nice to look back and see how far you've come and also be glad that particular trial is finally over.