My heart is so heavy tonight. Have you ever been angry at God? Have you ever wanted to scream out your frustrations so loud that he could hear you? I know in the scriptures it tells us that he won't give you any trial or trials that you can't handle. But... there has to be a limit!!
As I watch each day, my beautiful daughter and her wonderful husband, struggle to get enough sleep, struggle to function each day, I see him nauseated from his chemo, sleeping the day away because of the affects of it, vomiting, and Shana by his side. I can't stop asking myself when is this going to stop? They shouldn't have to be dealing with such heavy burdens and decisions at their age. They should be having the time of their lives raising their children, happy, traveling, and just trying to live a normal, common day life. But instead they are dealing with cancer. I HATE it!!! As a parent I can't stand to see them day in and day out trying to be happy, putting on smiles when I know they are hurting inside but just can't say it. I have never seen two people so positive, so uplifting, so upbeat, never complaining about their life. For that, God needs to be on their side and get them through this nightmare.
Tonight after Priesthood blessings were given to them, Roger and I sat outside on our swing. No words were spoken as we sat there and cried. Our hearts ache as we see Shana and Jakes love for one another. What an example they are to me.
I want them to know how much I love them. How I wish I could take this all away. If we could wake up tomorrow and have it all be over that would be my dream. I pray to God that in the next couple of weeks when Jake has his PET scan that the chemotherapy will be destroying all the cancer in his body once and for all!! I pray he won't have to go through a bone marrow transplant. If there is a God I pray this prayer will be answered. I know there are hundreds of people of all different faiths praying for this same prayer as mine. So..that said..please continue to pray in his behalf. For him and for Shana as they are both affected by this disease.
3 comments:
Well... I am not quite sure why I got deleted as a reader from this blog... hmmmm!! lol. But that was a very sweet post Mom! Thank you! It means a lot and I cried reading it. Ya, it isn't fair and I hate it too. BUT, there are others who have it far worse and I am grateful we are not as bad as others in this world!! I hope that the cancer is gone!!!! I want to have a normal life again! I mean, Jake and I need at least ONE normal year together!! :)
I love you Mom and am grateful to have you here. You help out and I appreciate that. Love you tons
SHANA
You all sure have had your share of trials. I pray this next year will bring some calm and peace to your family! :)
Chad and I pray every morning and night for them. Our hearts go out to them! We love them and all your family so much.
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