Changes

I've had a lot on my mind lately and I wanted to take a minute to blog about some of them. My thoughts are continually on Roger as his body is beginning to have complications from his diabetes. He's dealt with it now for 46 years and up to this point has actually done really well. He's always been such a model patient according to all of his doctors. He still is..but he's now having a real hard time trying to control his blood sugars and we just found out he's having some major kidney issues.
6 weeks ago he went in for his routine kidney check up with Dr. Stephanz. He goes once a year and has his blood drawn to see what his BUN and Creatnine is. He got the results and the doctor wasn't happy at all. In fact he said there must be a fluke in the test. Lets repeat it in a month. So he did and the results were even worse than the month before.
Roger and I went to see Dr. Stephanz last week and he's quite concerned. He said that Roger's kidneys are functioning about 27%-35% and is in stage 4 of 5 kidney failure. He said if he had a crystal ball he would guess within the next 1.5 to 2 years he will have a kidney transplant or be on dialysis.
The thing is we always knew this day would eventually come but not at the age of 55. You're never prepared for that kind of news.
I'm trying to be positive since I know that kind of attitude helps you survive anything and keeps you out of the dumps. But I have to admit that I'm scared. I'm sad. I hate seeing him vomiting almost every day because of the nausea. I hate seeing him so tired. He will usually start out having a great day then the nausea starts in and he's done for the rest of the day. His blood sugars have been so out of control. Highs for days then lows forever.
I wish I could take it all away for him. But he's been given this challenge and I pray that God will allow us to learn something from it. I know it's brought us so close. Life hands us some real curves sometimes but it keeps us praying and having faith that we'll get through this. I'm so thankful for Roger and for his desire to keep his self healthy. I'm grateful for his love for life and for his family. I know many people are praying for him and putting his name in the temples. He's my rock and I pray I can be his.